Saturday, October 4, 2014

Acclimation, Surprises, and their Intersection

I am usually not a big fan of using drugs--even legal ones--in order to get the most out of my brain chemistry. However, I was anticipating the coming jet lag with dread because I remember having unpleasant first-day experiences in past travels, my first day of class began at 9:00, and one of my students from the summer had returned home and taken three weeks to adapt to local Chinese time. Therefore, when my mom explained that melatonin is produced naturally by the brain, taking it in pill form seemed innocent enough, giving myself what my system was only late itself to provide, and effecting little other than that sleepy feeling you get when...it's time to sleep. (Oh, I get it!)
Perhaps I've tried to rationalize my new sleep addiction, but my point (reads "unsolicited advice to all overseas travelers") is that melatonin actually seems like a mild but effective strategy for overcoming sleep issues. Having arrived Sunday night for Monday morning class (in which you know I was attentive), I was pretty well on Israel time by about Wednesday and could begin devoting my time to...adjusting to a lot of other things.

When you enter a new phase and pace of life, for certain things to need acclimation comes as no surprise. Hearing and reading a world in Hebrew and Arabic took adjustment--they are still tiring and will be until I can think in those languages--but of course it was no surprise to find them everywhere. Eating falafels and shawarmas for lunch took days of adjustment for my stomach, but this food too was no surprise. (Other than that the fast food cannot be unhealthy here, "for it is naught but [vegetables]," as the Bard almost said.) Seeing armed soldiers everywhere, especially in commute to or from duty--to my meta-surprise--neither surprised me nor took getting used to.

Getting an American laptop connected to a foreign wall socket and encrypted network was an acclimation of sorts, analogous to possessing pieces from three different puzzles and being expected to turn them into a single picture. And if one puzzle is on the wrong Hertz setting, it buzzes and eventually blows a fuse--an unfortunate shortcoming of French jigsaws from the 1980s. (To give a sense of some of the decisions you may need to make when setting up a computer in a foreign country--as well as anticipate the inevitable "Mr. Fleissner, when will I ever need to use EM physics and cryptography?"--I'll post my multiple-choice electronics quiz designed to prepare people for such an occasion.)

On the other hand, some aspects of Jerusalem came as a surprise but took absolutely no getting used to. Oh my goodness, the climate: it has not rained once, frequent breezes carry cool rather than humid or sandy air, and only a few hours in the afternoon can be characterized as being unpleasantly hot--together culminating in my postponement of trying to get a bicycle, for it is actually pleasant to walk the fifty minutes from school to בית הכרם (Beit HaKerem, literally "House of the Vineyard"). (The Jerusalem-area weather site ירושמיים, on which it is possible to witness the early fall's constancy, is an untranslatable play on the city's name ירושלם and the word for "heavens, sky" שמים.)

Then there are those aspects of life that come as a surprise and require acclimation. If I had to sum it up in a single sentence, every culture living here seems to thrive on contradiction, know that this is the case, and enjoy it. My top five:

5. It is easy, routine, and sometimes necessary to cross the tram tracks. Out of sight of any crosswalk. Having come from New Jersey after the summer when a man fell asleep and then onto the tracks (zeugma!), I was slow to warm up to this habit. That said, everyone else seems content to use the tracks as a bike lane, so it's hard to tell what counts as dangerous here.

4. Christians take Sunday off, Jews take Saturday (and apparently all of Friday) off, but Muslims do not have a weekly day of rest. What was confusing at first is that, unlike everyone else, Muslim shopkeepers still keep shop even when they are closed, as they are five times a day for prayer. If you try to buy something in this time, they say they'll sell it to you in fifteen minutes.
 
3. People's names mean weird stuff, and everyone seems to know it. Out of respect for anonymity, names like Myrtle and Sine (of the previous post) have been changed, but the friend Sine really does have a name as strange as the English "sine." And everyone is cool with that. In one of Sine's many visits, she told of a woman בד "Bad"--apparently nonsensical in Hebrew (where it is a kind of fabric) and certainly anti-sensical in English--who actually encountered difficulty on an English practicum because she hadn't been anticipating the question "'Bad' is an unusual name; how did you get it?"

2. Although it isn't surprising to have unspoken physical boundaries (e.g., a men's section and a women's section at the West Wall), I am surprised to find them unmarked (in any language). Most strikingly, one avenue in the Old City's Muslim quarter can be entered by non-Muslims, so long as they do so from the other end. No sign, no guard, and in fact no overt indication that this was the case made me wonder how this was even enforced...and where I had already misstepped.
 
1. Kosher rules get their own section--not because Kosher itself is over-the-top, but because of the frequency with which people appear to be trying to circumvent the rules and amplify their purview at once. Sine comes over a lot--living in a Russian Jewish neighborhood, I cannot tell if everyone's frequent visits are a Russian thing, a Jewish thing, a Russian Jewish thing, or an everywhere-but-America thing--and she has explained to me what appear to be some of her favorites:
  • The prohibition on boiling an animal in its mother's milk has famously been generalized to one against mixing beef and dairy. The expected circumvention of mixing species--beef with goat cheese, for instance--is also, I think reasonably, prohibited because the appearance of eating beef with dairy would look like a sin to others and thereby set an erroneous standard that this is okay. Also logically, because a fish does not produce milk, there is no harm in combining fish with any meat or dairy. The weird part is birds: even though non-mammalian chickens do not produce milk, their meat cannot be mixed with milk. Even more strangely, chicken meat can be mixed with (chicken) eggs, even though the spirit of mixing parent and child is clearly violated here.
  • Work is not permitted on the Sabbath, of course; for less obvious reasons, tearing paper along perforated lines--including toilet paper is also forbidden. (I mistakenly thought that tearing paper must be considered some sort of work, but an Orthodox classmate has since corrected me.) Expected workarounds like tearing toilet paper somewhere other than along the line, or purchasing pre-ripped toilet paper, are apparently common. But so is redefining "tearing" as "holding in your hands, moving your left hand to the left, and moving your right hand to the right" (apparently, for I can think of no other way to justify what comes next). Crossing your arms while holding toilet paper allows you to move your left hand right and your right hand left, and miraculously the paper is torn. (Note that, of course, you did not tear the toilet paper according to this method.)
  • Because any lifting is considered work, the commonest exception to "no work on Shabbat" is that you may lift objects within your house (because you frequently must). Now, since families frequently congregate at each other's houses on this day, how can you take food or infants across town? The solution in many large Jewish communities is to surround the city with a giant wall, so that the city as a whole may count as a residence. Well, a wall is pretty expensive, so how about a single fishing line? That's right, Jerusalem has an עירוב eruv that serves the purpose of a wall (despite not being made out of wall material--but more on what counts as "wall" below), so that the whole city may count as a single domicile. Accept at least this much, for it's the normal part. Reasonably, as I think, everyone in the city must agree to the presence of the eruv. (In Jerusalem, because the large number of non-Jews would probably never give consent to living "under the same roof," the government has of course never asked permission lest someone exercise veto power.) Suppose that a single man in the city objects to the eruv; if he dies, then is the eruv a wall, or must you ask his son? (Bonus: In this scenario, are you allowed on Shabbat to lift the corpse of the man who alone objected to the eruv?)
  • In an ironic tale (which sounds, from its telling, like it evolved from a children's etiology), wolves are a threat to deer because of the deer: since deer frequently look around when they eat, they appear as predators and scare the wolves. Out of fear, a wolf therefore attacks a deer's heart (לב lev), killing the deer. People who do not want to be attacked by wolves (because people look like deer...?) therefore wear a strap of leather over their heart, called a לבוב levuv. Now, suppose you are a deer-keeper, and you also have your deer wear לבובים levuvim over their hearts to protect them from the wolves. Because wearing clothing (for animals) obviously counts as lifting objects, and therefore as doing work, what should you do on Shabbat? Do you sin by keeping the levuvim on the deer, or do you risk their lives by following God's law? (As Sine confirmed in this very real conversation, there never arise the obviating counterarguments that (1) levuvim do not actually protect anyone from wolves and (2) people do not actually keep deer.)
  • The holiday סוכות Sukkot is famous for the construction of סוכות sukkot, which effectively means "temporaries" in the sense of those ad hoc buildings on cinderblocks that ironically never get taken down. Although the respective materials for the walls and roof of a סוכה sukkah are typically loose wood and leaves, in order for the building to be transient ("you are supposed to be able to see the stars through the roof"), anything that preserves its transience (yes that makes sense) is apparently acceptable. As you might expect, this could reasonably yield all manner of Ship-of-Theseus-esque issues, since the structure is built to be ephemeral and unstable but is supposed to last seven days. Here's the question, though, which beat my expectations: If one of your walls is a (live) camel, and this wall wanders off, do you still have a sukkah? (When the question was posed to me and the short-lived purpose of the building was explained, I suggested that one might as well make the whole house out of birds or winds; Sine said that I would have been considered very wise in the schools of these teachings.)

Friday, September 26, 2014

Māori Apophenia, a Turkish Prison, and Jerusalem Hospitality

Having sex and writing a blog are activities that for a long time I have grouped together:
  • it's a personal experience, but the world can hear you
  • however modestly done, it belies having an awesome time
  • everyone else seems to be doing it
It should make sense, then, that I had reservations about giving in to this temptation; but with enough suggestion and nagging from a critical mass of professed would-be readers (critical mass here being ~5), I figured it was time to start. A blog.


I am not usually one to read the future in chicken livers (even at Cracker Barrel), but I do try to follow the progress of languages and cultures that are moribund or on life support. (Before you get irritated about all the non sequiturs, these are related to each other and my travel.) And this year, the theme of Māori Language Week (te wiki o te reo Māori) is "The Word of the Week" (te kupu o te wiki). Yes, the theme is, because although this government-sponsored holiday falls in the final week of July, a list of fifty Māori words has been slated to be introduced to the wider New Zealand community, at a rate of one per week. (This is analogous to celebrating the twelve days of Christmas for an entire year.)

As I taught in the final few weeks of my job this summer, the weekly words seemed innocent enough--
  1. āpōpō = "tomorrow"
  2. heihei = "chicken"
  3. poitarawhiti = "netball"
--and, other than introducing the vocabulary to my own (confused) math students, I gave little thought as to their significance. But in the next week, as I chaperoned Chinese students around the northeastern United States, slept in New Jersey for the last time, and confronted more directly my intention to study in Israel, the fourth word of the week was nau mai, "welcome." Packing up my life and driving it home, only to hear the warnings of the adults around me and vacillate on the many logistics of my international travel, the word became engari, "but."


The psychological term for this is apophenia, wherein a pattern is "found" where it does not exist. Famous examples include the Face on Mars (later found to be a suggestive light angle on a geographical feature) and "Dark Side of the Rainbow" (the synchrony of Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" album with the visuals of "The Wizard of Oz"), but you can reproduce the effects at your own home, observing a car grill or a power outlet and letting your fusiform gyrus shift into overdrive. :-\

Apophenia is like love: describe it and understand it in terms of chemical reactions, and you do not detract from its beautiful power or suffer less from its effects. All weekly Māori words thus far had been as bland as chicken--common functional words or universal concepts, the only apparent exception being due to the relative unimportance placed on netball in my part of the world. Then came the week in which I had to FedEx my passport to the Israel Consulate in New York and called their office nearly every workday to check on the document's progress. No, "called their office" is too personal: with each dial, I entered a Narnian phone tree, carefully and bilingually enumerating at each node the upcoming holidays and regular morning hours; a long-distance Eldritch abomination revealing an aural glimpse of infinity without actually telling where its branches led; a sequence of voices which, sounding human, served only to underline the lack of a human presence on the other end. (If kudzu can be repurposed for electronic communications, I have discovered its niche.) And when I did find a real person, she was surprised at the sound of my voice: "Oh! I'm sorry, you just sounded so official for a moment. I thought I was talking to a machine."
"Ah, sorry, I understand; I have been hearing a lot of machines today."
The word of the week was waea.

Nor did it come as a surprise to be flying at the end of a week whose word (rangi) meant "sky"; by now, I had submitted to the hard reality that someone in the ranks of the Ministry of Māori Development had correctly foreseen my future for the next fifty weeks and was propagating it in local "schools, communities, and organisations." But when you fly across the Atlantic, you care less about conspiracy theories than the immediate dilemma: do you force yourself to sleep in anticipation of jet lag, or do you keep yourself awake and your eyes open in anticipation of the meal that will either be served in EST or İstanbul time? Pulled and thinking in both directions at once, you take the melatonin pill and keep your eyes open, just long enough to see a food cart enter the cabin fifteen rows ahead. Ten minutes later, sleep and stewardesses arrive at your row simultaneously, so that you must focus to accept the platter and make decisions about how to spread butter that is cut less easily than its packaging.

When the need to sleep waxes urgent in the hours that follow--hours made shorter because your plane and the sun are running to meet each other like star-crossed lovers--you are faced with another dilemma: again, succumb to your rapidly errant biological clock's needs, or repeatedly calculate your ETA based on the flight data (on the screen before you) that you know cannot change that your flight left an hour late and you will miss your connection? Here, your stomach steps in to help with its repeated grumblings, requesting that its contents be either less or more, or both, and affording you enough consciousness to jump the horns of this dilemma entirely and run to the bathroom instead.

When you are rushed and sleepless--but this time, not finishing a paper due later today--you are a little ashamed to care less about the Turkish signs before you, fascinating alone for their vowel harmony and agglutination, instead running past them to the terminal where a man says in Turkish what you already understand about the plane backing out of its gate. The dilemma is no longer a dilemma, for it suddenly grows many options and no options at the same time. The religious hostel where you are staying the first few nights in Jerusalem closes its doors at ten thirty, so you should call them and someone else to make arrangements...without a working phone. Your body and mind tell you you must eat, but first one and then the other rejects this decision as you puke the present lunch-dinner alongside the results of earlier dilemmas in a stall of Turkish facilities that cannot decide how they should be used. You finally find a stand where a nice woman sells phone cards, you cannot decide whether to purchase the card first or inform her about the vomit that didn't make the not-a-toilet, and you learn that she doesn't know enough English to recognize any of the fifty idioms for upchuck, nor to explain why her booth is closed at the moment.

By now, the naturally released chemicals that make you feel great right after vomiting are wearing off, and walking becomes less painful than remaining stationary. You return to the bathroom to change your shirt, for you still wear the sweat from your initial vain run to the endless terminal; this and the world's most expensive banana begin to give you some respite. When I did reach my dad on the phone (the card could call America with the airport phones, but apparently not Israel), the words that "This is the worst part of it" were reassuring, and of course correct. Five hours and two bananas after landing, I could thank my dad and future-professor for connecting to confirm that I could stay with the family in the Beit HaKerem neighborhood who was originally not expecting me the first few days.

But when it is dark out, and you are running on two bananas--albeit a central part of this all-nutritious dinner-breakfast--you do not see that the shuttle driver has given you the Italian man's suitcase instead of your own. No, it is only after you have met the couple of the house and their friends, been offered some tea (which, being water, is far too rich for you to stomach right now), been shown your room and told to go to sleep--now you see the different shade of green and stupidly ask whose suitcase that is. A comedy of errors unfolds, in which Myrtle, the mother of the house, contacts first the shuttle service and then the Italian man, who is apparently somewhat rude, while her friend Sine asks you about your travels. You quickly learn that Sine's favorite English word is "horrible," applied here to the shuttle service, Turkish Airlines, security protocols, and travel in general. Myrtle reenters the room, explaining that the Italian is about to enter Rehavia, a neighborhood where she cannot go, so she is about to trade suitcases with him at Damascus Gate and tells you again to go to sleep. Sine takes the opportunity to call Italian men horrible.

When you awake the next morning, it is not you but reality with a hangover. Every molecule of air fumes drowsily at the drilling next door, as well as the school's 8:00 musical chime next door in the other direction. You emerge from your new room to thank Myrtle once again for their hospitality and help in last-minute circumstances. You start receiving instructions on taking the tram to and from your first day of school. You thankfully see your own suitcase, open it, and pull out the toothbrush and toothpaste (after far too long) to clean your niho.